Wandering Doubts
by Lord Drone
Summary: Yukiteru realizes his growing feelings for Akise. Action takes place during the 3rd world, no Yuno! M rating for lemon, yaoi.
1. Introduction: Base

**Warning:** Hello. I started writing this fan fiction - which is my first by the way ah ah ah - because… well… I feel like my heart aches every time I think about those two. So I can't help but writing and drawing about them!

Also, I'm French, so please apologize my mistakes! Please tell me in comments if you see some. Thank you for reading and your attention! Kiss from Paris.

* * *

Yukiteru Amano was in love with Aru Akise.

It's probably what he figured out while his wanderings during the England trip of their school, this night.

Kousaka was snoring to his right and, to his left, Yukiteru could hear Akise's peaceful breath.

He was wondering since when he had this oh so special feelings for him… Yes… before, hadn't he a crush on Moe Wakaba?

So why did he start having feelings for Akise who, moreover, was a boy?

Yukiteru didn't really know. He was just feeling so comfortable around him. He was always nice and ready to help him. When he was not really liked by his classmates, he was the first one starting looking at him.

Yukiteru turned to Akise's side, trying to sleep but, even though he put all of his efforts in it, he couldn't in the end. So he started contemplate Akise's hair… white… so beautiful…

"Shouldn't you be sleeping, Yukiteru-kun?"

Yukiteru blushed heavily, letting out a quiet gasp. He did not answer anything, kind of hiding under his blankets. He didn't hear Akise's chuckle.

The next days following, Yukiteru, Kousaka, Mao, Hinata and Akise visited London together. They particularly appreciated a candy shop, filled of sweets more or less cheap. Akise and Yukiteru were talking, lagging behind, Mao and Hinata quietly joking about them and Kousaka spitting out random things.

The last day, the class went to an amusement park. Since the students must be divided by groups of two, Yukiteru shyly asked Akise to pair with him. As the white-haired boy seemed a bit surprised, Yukiteru added:

"A-ah, but of course, if you don't want t-"

"It's fine with me" smiled Akise.

Yukiteru likely screamed in the horror house and the extreme attractions and looked pitiful but he didn't really care about that. Both were enjoying each other's presence this last day of the trip and this was priceless.

The daytime touched to its end and, as the park was about to close, like probably everybody, they finished by the big wheel.

As they were going up, Yukiteru sighed of exhaustion. This day was sure a tiring day.

"Look" said Akise, showing the town.

"Wow, it's wonderful!"

Yes, indeed, the view of London was wonderful. They could see Big Ben and the houses looking old but full of charm, the sunset embellishing the sky.

"Did you remember the first time we met?" abruptly said Akise, still looking through the window, a soft smile to his lips.

"Huh? Oh, yes. You saved me from this guys bullying me" answered Yukiteru with an awkward laugh. "You shouldn't have done that… You're not as popular as before now… Plus… Doing that kind of thing… for me…"

"I do not regret at all."

Akise was now looking straight in Yukiteru's eyes, destabilized by this sudden gaze. Akise was loosing himself in those magnificent azure eyes. He couldn't help but feeling his heart beating faster when he was looking at him._ "It's love."_

"A-akise-kun…" a light blush tinting Yukiteru's cheeks.

"Yukiteru-kun, I -"

"Oy, everybody get down now! Don't you see your turn is over?" said that fat and stereotyped guardian we've all seen around the big wheel in an attraction park.

* * *

Chapter two is written so it'll be coming soon !


	2. Chapter 1: School Festival?

Hop chap 2! :) As I was going a bit too fast in the storyline (storyline?wut?) I wrote a second... second chapter ? =.= So basically the third is written... Oh man whaaat?

I hope you'll like!

* * *

"Hi Akise-kun!" said with a happy tone in the voice Yukiteru, opening his house's door to Akise. "Please come in."

After they came back from England, their teacher gave to the class a presentation about their trip to do and that's why, this day, Akise came to Yukiteru's place. This presentation will be presented on the school's festival day. The teachers were always shouting loudly about how much it was important as it will be presented to the parents but of course nobody was really taking this seriously even if the clubs were getting pretty involved in this.

They climbed up the stairs and Yukiteru opened his door. He took his laptop and put it on the coffee table.

"Such a pain…" grumbled this one, turning on his computer while Akise was attentively examining the room. It was quite the typical teenager's room but, without any specific reason, he was trying to remember every single part of every corner.

"Sorry. Maybe you wanted to do it with someone else?"

"Eh? No! I didn't say it for you!"

"I know ~ Just teasing"

_How cute_, couldn't help but thinking Akise, looking at Yukiteru's pout.

Yukiteru brought some cookies he made last day and they started working. And it was sure a boring work: searching information on Wikipedia and then putting the image corresponding in the document… it was repetitive but, instead of being about to fall asleep, Yukiteru was almost on the watch.

Akise was so close to him he couldn't easily concentrate. They were not touching each other but they were close enough to feel any of their movements. Yukiteru was even wondering if he was doing it on purpose. _No… no way._

"Here… you made a typo Yukiteru-kun" said for the umpteenth time Akise, pointing the computer's screen.

_After all I'm so clumsy_, thought Yukiteru, _at least it does not seem too weird._

Retrying to focus, he took a cookie… and met Akise's hand.

"A-ah I-I'm sorry!" stammered Yukiteru who, if he weren't so panicked himself, would have noticed Akise's slight blush.

He did worst. He tried to calm down but he did worst. Well, it was not very surprising coming from Yukiteru and his legendary luck.

"They're pretty tasty" said Akise to save the situation. Then, seeing Yukiteru's incomprehension "The cookies"

"Ah! Hem… I'm glad, I made them!"

"Ha… it's for that…"

Yukiteru blushed again uselessly. Why his heart was racing so fast?

"I wonder what other activities there'll be at the festival…" started Akise.

"Hum…" pondered Yukiteru "I heard of a cake degustation or something like that…"

"Maybe you could bring your cookies?"

"Yeah, I could give some indigestions to the parents." laughed Yukiteru.

"You should be more confident," stated Akise "it's honestly quite toothsome."

The other didn't answer, deep in his thoughts.

"Maybe there'll be a maid café like last year." he suggested.

"Oh? Did you cosplay?" teased Akise.

"W-what are you talking about! Of course not!" babbled Yukiteru, his blush increasing.

They both laughed and returned to work. As they were about to end, the brunette said, a bit affected:

"I'm glad to go to the school's festival with all of you… Last year, I hadn't really much friends so I felt quite alone since we couldn't leave." He laughed, internally wondering why he was confessing such an ashamed thing to Akise. "It's thanks to you, Akise. I'm really grateful."

The white-haired boy startled. Yukiteru continued, in-crossing his fingers:

"I'm really glad to have met you. Really, I am!" looking up to Akise.

"No. I'm the one who's glad to have met you, Yukiteru-kun." cut Akise, passing his slender fingers through Yukiteru's soft hair.

"R-really? But compared to you, I'm just a good-for-nothing…" answered Yukiteru, shacking as Akise gently rubbed his ear.

"You may be clumsy, it's true." Yukiteru saw a spark in the white-haired boy's eyes. "But still, you've got a pure heart. You're like a treasure, so rare to find."

He moved his finger to the brunette's jaw, caressing his cheek. Although Yukiteru's blush increased, he could feel a wave of calm and soft pleasure invading his whole body at Akise's touch. Aroused by the sensation, he stayed speechless.

They don't know how much time passed, looking in each other's eyes, losing themselves, they don't know. It could be a minute as an eternity, a second as an hour. Taking back the control of himself, Akise added:

"Well, if there's a café again this year, you'll maybe have the chance to see Moe Wakaba in maid clothes."

He had this playful and mocking tone in his voice but his eyes weren't following the movement, kind of looking sad.

"H-huh?" gasped somewhat adorably Yukiteru, moving away from Akise.

"Hadn't you a crush on her? Could I possibly be wrong?" He looked falsely surprised, a small grin to his lips.

"W-well…" somehow tried to explain Yukiteru "It might before… b-but… I kinda found someone else… someone really special…"

Yukiteru, panic-stricken, was truly hoping that Akise wouldn't find out about his feelings because, since he was a pretty skilled detective, he was running a risk. What would he think about him if he knew? Yukiteru was just a no-good boy, getting scared for nothing… and to top it all he was a man! The brunette could estimate the chances of going out with Akise at 2.8%.

The other looked up, lost in his thoughts, his expression unreadable.

"I wonder who could it be…" then considering anew Yukiteru "You're not gonna tell me, right?"

Akise answered himself by looking at Yukiteru's embarrassed face. The noise of the printer finishing his work broke the gaze.

"L-looks like it's done" stated Yukiteru, taking in his small hand the hot papers. All of sudden, his phone rang and he picked up, wondering who call him at this hour – it was almost 8 pm. Akise, interested, was hearing – even if he knew it has rude of him – all the conversation.

"Huh? Hinata? What? Hum… yeah… I understand… ok."

As he was hanging up, Akise asked:

"What was that about?"

"Mao called me to say that Hinata is right now sick and can't do the cakes for the festival. She just asked if we could do that… But honestly, apart cookies, I can't cook anything good!"

Akise looked at him curiously.

"It seems like we'll have fun, Yukiteru-kun."

* * *

My, my, the chapters REALLY look shorter than in my word doc...

In the next chapter, things will get interesting ;)


	3. Chapter 2: Chocolate

Yaaaaaaaaaay *fall down* pfiu. It took a lot of time. Oh and before I forget THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS ! (and favs and all) *crying* N-no ! I'm not crying because I'm happy at all... it's.. well I ate too much chocolate today so my stomach aches.

... Don't forget to tell me if you see any grammar mistake *run run* (it's quite probable as I finished it yesterday at 6 in the morning or so...)

* * *

Yukiteru was coming back from Hinata's place. She had some kind of flu, which was basically quite common these days during the beginning of the spring. _Finally, it's not really the season of love_, thought Yukiteru. _Or maybe spring is sadistic, using its love power to spread a lot more illnesses by kissing._ He stopped walking, astonished by his own mind's stupidity. _Have I gone mad by any way?_ He walked again, _or maybe Hinata kissed someone ill?_

Now that he was thinking about that, maybe staying away from Hinata's bed, hoping that the disease would not affect him, was quite rude of him. Maybe it looked weird… unfriendly… But well he had his reasons! While enquiring about Hinata's state, this latter was giving him the list of what to do for the festival. It was not that bad. Was Yukiteru naturally pessimistic? Probably. There were (fortunately!) cookies to do, muffins and marble cakes. Unless for the last one, he actually knew the recipe of the cakes and, anyways, he could check on the Internet – great invention, thanks God!

The Cooking Club was currently containing five pairs of two mates who would have to make a total of 200 cakes so an average of 40 per pair. There were 4 days left until the festival, which was quite short. Hopefully, students being busy because of their clubs, teachers showed an unusual compassion and did not give that much of homework, mainly from the English teacher since he gave a couple of days before this famous presentation. The headteacher and the direction decided to end classes earlier to organize the preparations.

Yukiteru gladly realized that Hinata was in a good club. Because cooking is quite a funny activity, you see. But what if he had to sing if Hinata were in the music club? Here. It wasn't the same thing. Yukiteru couldn't have done that. Just thinking about the humiliation caused was making him starting to shake. Just thinking about Akise laughing at him was making him wanting to die. And, shame on him, Yukiteru also realized that, thanks to Hinata's flu, he was about to spend more time with Akise. It was quite lame to be happy of someone's problems but at least, he was seeing the positive point in the end.

As Yukiteru entered in his school, he saw many people running around here and there, carrying cardboard boxes, various stuff, random things. The agitation was palpable.

Discouraged, the brunette wondered how he could find Akise in all this mess – and it's not like he was not very remarkable with his white hair! Yukiteru stopped counting the number of times he was pushed by unknown people, maybe the worst was that they weren't even apologizing. _It looked like some kind of war_, he compared, _and the teachers are too afraid themselves to show off, fearing getting hurt or whatever. Even I seem more courageous. Is that even possible?_ Nevertheless, it was not very surprising since it was like this every year. As he was walking by, Yukiteru noticed with a smile the presentation he made with Akise, glued to a wall. A funny fact because they didn't even received the mark yet.

The brunette took the way to the cooking club: Akise was probably waiting for him there, also escaping from wild people in the corridors. It was the logic issue. And Akise was logic. So it was making sense.

Yukiteru wondered if he was looking weird, almost crawling along the walls, sadly looking of his sheets of paper that, unfortunately, got rumpled. The good fact was that the recipes were still readable on it.

Yukiteru, finally getting through the battlefield, entered in the empty club's room as a soldier would come back home after fighting for years in a horrendous war.

Panting, he switched on the lights and guessed that Akise was not here yet.

"I just have to wait there," sighed Yukiteru, falling on an old couch.

Then he felt like something was not all right. A strange sensation that was starting to invade him. He suddenly took his head in his hands, making a dramatic face:

"No!" he screamed while standing because of the realization "Akise is carrying the ingredients! It will just break in pieces within this jungle!"

He was about to go out when, all of a sudden, the door opened loudly and Akise went in, also panting, bended, the gaze lost between desperation and relief.

"Pheew" he uttered with a sigh, then noticing Yukiteru "You're already here, Yukiteru-kun." He put the bags filled of ingredients on the worktop "I had to find a way through this mess in order not to spoil those poor things so it took more time than expected" showing the food with his thumb, with an ironic smile.

"It's okay, I just arrived" answered the other.

They stretched and Akise glanced at the recipe "It seems that we've got everything. Let's get started!"

And despite their aching bodies and their lacking skills in cooking, they advanced at a good rate even if they lost a lot of time at first, debating who would take the pink apron with hearts. The issue was decided through an intense rock paper scissors, which Akise lost. It was probably the first time Yukiteru had luck in his entire life. The white-haired boy likely never looked that upset in his whole life, so much that Yukiteru decided to wear it but the other stared at him strangely for a while and then laughed, saying it was not big deal. But as the brunette started to make fun of him, complimenting Akise's looks, this latter just drew a chocolate smiley face on Yukiteru's cheek. Both were now totally looking ridiculous and they just hoped no one would enter in the room.

"I wonder what would happen if someone sees us" sighed Yukiteru.

"This nice person would take a picture and post it on the Internet" answered Akise "as simple as this."

"You're quite popular, Akise-kun. Girls would find you very cute dressed like that."

"Hum… Even so, I couldn't be able to be as cute as you." then, didn't giving time to Yukiteru who flushed heavily to answer, switched of subject "Shall I put the muffins in the oven?"

"Hum… Yes." answered Yukiteru, still red, looking suspiciously at him.

Akise took off his cooking glove and asked with a bitterness tone in his voice: "Do you dislike being with me so much? You always act so… nervous towards me."

Yukiteru blushed heavier as he knew he had to lie since he still felt ashamed of his own feelings.

"Ehm? No… I actually like being with you! It's… it's on the contrary most likely relaxing."

"So…" whispered the other to himself. He couldn't untie his gaze away from Yukiteru as this latter noticed how beautiful turned Akise's pink eyes to daylight. The white-haired boy finally pinched Yukiteru's cheek, making him to do a face that couldn't be cuter, and came bake to his duties.

Akise and Yukiteru were preparing the last plate of cookies. The day was about to end and the brunette, getting tired, did not pay attention and abruptly cut his finger. He stifled a pain's gasp, moving frenetically his hand and spreading drops of blood everywhere.

"Aaah-aah- it hurts!"

"Calm down. It's just your punishment for making fun of me" Akise smiled.

"It's not funny, Akise-kun!"

"Hm~"

He approached then looked at Yukiteru's cut and his smile vanished and turned into a worry face as he found out it was deeper that he first thought.

"I'll check for plasters," said Akise and he disappeared in the back of the room where was – normally - located medicine equipment.

The blood continued flowing and the pain stayed still, making Yukiteru to panic a bit.

"How is that possible!" Yukiteru heard the white-haired boy who was getting revolted "There are not even plasters inhere!"

Akise came back to Yukiteru, staring fixedly at the wound. At this moment, the brunette admired the self-control that Akise was displaying. Yukiteru probably would have run everywhere, asking for help even though they were alone.

"What should we do, Akise-kun! There are still some cookies to do…"

"It's not the matter right now. At this right, it's going to get infected"

Akise sighed with a smile and took frivolously the brunette's hand in his, looking up to his misunderstanding face in a slight blush. He gave a gentle lick on the Yukiteru's finger stained of blood, making him shiver sharply. This latter immediately felt a wave of pain, due to the tingling, but also waves of pleasure and scare.

"A-akise-kun! W-what are you doing?" gasped desperately Yukiteru.

The white-haired boy did not answer, keeping on licking. He then put one finger in his mouth, sucking to remove the blood.

Akise couldn't stop himself. His heart was beating so fast and furiously it was almost hurting, his head was heating and he had the impression of being crazy. He couldn't stop, hearing Yukiteru's small moans, not pulling him away. Why? Was he alright with that? Or was he just too afraid of rejecting him?

Akise went up, licking along the hand and eventually the wrist, even though he hadn't had to disinfect there.

"A-akise, please stop!" groaned Yukiteru.

The other didn't even hear, deafened by the violent pulsations of the blood in his temples.

Yukiteru wondered how many time left his legs would keep him standing as they were shaking violently. His vision went blur, his head was spinning so much it was unbearable and he couldn't realize what was happening right now. No, the only thing he could realize what Akise's tongue on his burning skin and the pleasure it was provoking.

Was it bad to feel this way? Did Akise was doing that on purpose to make fun of him? In that case…

"Stop!" cried the brunette, withdrawing suddenly his hand "W-what do you think you are doing?" and, not really knowing why, he slapped the other with all his strength.

Akise's eyes widened, looking up at Yukiteru's face. He seemed lost, as if he was also wondering himself, passing his hand against his painful and reddened cheek.

"A-are you making fun of me?" Yukiteru's voice went high, moving backwards.

"Wait, Yukiteru-kun!"

Yukiteru took off his apron, caught his schoolbag and went off the room, closing noisily the door, letting a desperate and dazed Akise.

However, Yukiteru did not remember while leaving that he still got the chocolate smiley face on his cheek.

As days went on, things hadn't settle.

A few time passed and both Akise and Yukiteru were feeling absolutely awkward towards each other, avoiding any kind of contact.

The first day after that famous event, Akise desperately tried to apologize to Yukiteru but this latter was always fearing him, sometimes even telling him to stop and stay away from him. At those moments, the pain bursting in the white-haired boy's chest was so sore that it made him want to rip off his heart. He knew his feelings for the brunette was far beyond friendship and his love for him was truly powerful, however he never thought of feeling such a foreign pain.

Nevertheless, in order not to alert their friends, they – tried to – act normal but it didn't work out at all. Sometimes, an embarrassing and blank silence was setting up, and it was so abnormal that of course they all noticed that something probably happened between those two.

As for Yukiteru, he never felt that guilty in his whole life. At first, he was systematically avoiding Akise because he felt a gnawing sorrow aching his heart every time he was near. As he understood he had to confess his love to stop it, he realized that Akise stopped trying to apologize and, on the same occasion, gave up on any sort of hope. Yukiteru interpreted that as Akise growing a sentiment of hate for him. Of course. He should have reacted far earlier, why did he wait so much? Why did he hope for now? That after telling him to never talk to him again that he would still consider him as a friend?

Nonetheless this situation was not bearable anymore, and one should find a way to solve it.

_Does something could even get worse?_ wondered Yukiteru at this very moment. He was there alone in the headteacher's office with Akise. Normally, the headteacher should have been here but, for some unknown reason, he wasn't. Probably in some kind of reunion. But the fact was that Yukiteru couldn't stand the ambiance reigning. The reason why they were here was that the headteacher wanted to thank Yukiteru and Akise who had worked out together to help the cook club when they hadn't had to.

Yukiteru was obstinately looking at his feet and he suddenly realized that feet could be very interesting. The truth was that he couldn't talk to Akise or even look. So did the albino boy. Sometimes, Yukiteru was feeling like the other was peeping at him but, every time he looked up at him just to verify, Akise was just looking somewhere else… fascinated by the old clock of the headteacher. Yukiteru figured out Akise just felt the same way than him.

Yukiteru wanted to talk, to apologize but was too scared to worsen the situation, so he was just basically standing, hoping the headteacher to move his ass and comes quickly to finish it as soon as possible.

The room was so deeply lost in silence that the only noise remaining was the clock ticking.

Once more, Yukiteru felt Akise's eyes laid on him. But this time, when the brunette answered the gaze, the other wasn't avoiding the eye contact at all, looking straight at Yukiteru. This latter couldn't help but blushing, however he didn't say a word.

"Tell me…" Yukiteru startled "Do you hate me, Yukiteru-kun?"

The brunette's throat started to become unbearably sore and, it was so much tight that he couldn't pronounce any word. In any case, Akise didn't let him the time to answer and, smiling but looking hurt, he raised a hand to his face.

"Am I stupid… of course, you should hate me after what I've done… It's just that… I miss you so much. I miss talking to you so much." debited Akise in a flow of sentences while his voice was almost trembling, without seeing that his words brought tears to Yukiteru. "I just couldn't control myself… for the only reason that…" Akise looked on the side and took a deep inspiration, not fearing the azure eyes of Yukiteru anymore. "For the only reason that I love you."

Akise regretted his confession right away as Yukiteru's eyes widened in shock.

The brunette's hands started to shake and having spasms. His visions went blur. His blush increased as blood raised to his head. His mind went crazy while wondering if these words were true or if he just misheard.

"Say it that you hate me now, Yukiteru-kun… say it."

Akise's smile was off on his face and his eyes expressed an infinite helplessness.

Nevertheless it was too much for Yukiteru to handle and exploded with anger and desperation, stunning the white-haired boy:

"How could I possibly hate you!" then, lowering his voice "How could I possibly hate you when these words of yours make me so incredibly happy?"

Akise let out a gasp of surprise, raising his brows and barely breathing.

Yukiteru buried his head in his hands to hide from his blush and tears:

"I-I was the one thinking you were hating me…"

"Yukiteru-kun!"

At the same moment, Yukiteru felt arms encircling and tightening him. Akise's arms. He held him close and powerfully, one hand pressing against his waist and the other in between his hair, patting it with adoration. Yukiteru couldn't retain his tears anymore and reposed his head on Akise's shoulder while answering the embrace. The white-haired boy squeezed him more. He repeated tirelessly a flow of loving words that warmed the other's heart.

"Akise-kun, I… I do love you too." stammered in a whisper the brunette, making Akise to hug him so strongly he could hardly breathe.

Akise suddenly loosen a bit the embrace and, capturing Yukiteru's chin, he leans dangerously his mouth closer to the brunette's. When this latter figured out what he was attempting to do, he blushed heavily and turned away his face. Akise displayed an amused smile:

"Would you dislike it? Is it because I'm a boy?"

"No, no!" reassured precipitately Yukiteru "It's just that…" he looked away "I've… never done that before."

Akise chuckled "I would be honoured to be your first, then."

At the moment Yukiteru felt Akise's lips gently pressing against his, his heart melted and broke at the same time in a oh so appreciable sensation that he had never experienced before. Closing the eyes to appreciate better the contact, he felt Akise sucking his lower lip in a very sensual way. Then, Akise carefully took his face in his hands and gathered his mouth with Yukiteru's. The kiss was soft and, as their tongues met, Yukiteru tried awkwardly to answer while his heart was about to tear off his chest. His hands went up to Akise's neck, winding around to deepen the kiss. Soon, the soft kiss became a violent and passionate one, tongues fighting for dominance; and Akise, still holding tightly Yukiteru against him, pushed him against the headmaster's desk. The brunette moaned loudly as he felt a distinct and embarrassing pressure between his legs.

Out of breath, he fended off Akise as their mouths parted, both panting heavily, their lips still touching.

"I love you Yukiteru-kun" Akise said while playing with Yukiteru's locks, giving that smile of his which was making the brunette melting.

This time, instead of kissing him, Akise approached Yukiteru's neck and licked it in such a way that the other couldn't ignore his now hard member anymore. The fact is that Akise was actually in the same condition and hearing Yukiteru's moans was now what he wanted to hear the most.

"Mmm!- Akise-kun!"

He went down and sucked the collarbone, pushing his knee between Yukiteru's legs, making him to groan so loudly they hoped nobody were passing by in the corridor.

However, again, Yukiteru felt scare run through his whole body. He was scared to do everything wrong and terribly disappoint Akise. This latter, feeling Yukiteru shaking beneath his lips, looked up at him. He sighed in a smile and kissed lovingly the brunette's forehead.

"Hey… don't worry like this… I promise I won't go any further."

Yukiteru sniffed as Akise hugged him again, relieved.

"Just don't make me wait too long." whispered Akise in his most sensual tone, all smiles when Yukiteru so adorably babbled something incomprehensible.

They continued cuddling each other, waiting for the headteacher who never came or, most likely he came while the kiss they shared and decided to walk away.

* * *

Humm... should I continue this fanfic..? What do you think ?

Have a nice Easter Day ! Oh wait it was yesterday. Oh happy April fools !


	4. Chapter 3: There is more

huhuhuhuhuhuhu

Thank you again for your reviews, favs and follows *°* Sometimes in the morning I look at my mails and I see this and I'm like "PEOPLE YOU'RE GETTING TOO NICE *^^*"

This chapter was horrendous to write, I was always having the impression my English teacher was behind me like "WUT ASTRID (because yes it's my name) WHAT ARE YOU WRITING hum by the way you made a mistake here" so please fulfill my wish NEVER WRITE FANFICTIONS

oh and yes I suppose I must say that

LEMON WARNING LALALALA

* * *

Time passed and things turned out well. Spring came, opening its flowers as opening people's heart. Since Yukiteru was going out with Akise, he has been unexpectedly happy and confident. He has finally found someone that would love him and it was something he has always hoped for from the bottom of his heart.

It was actually strange how one single person could change another one. The feeling of being loved was making people thinking they were finally worth it, they were truly useful to the eyes of someone. People are always searching for love but, as soon as they discover the bad and painful sides, which make love whole, they tend to avoid it, fearing being hurt.

Yukiteru knew he would be hurt in the end in any way being with Akise. However, comparing to the happiness and pleasure it could bring while being with him, it was surely meaningless.

Yukiteru couldn't really understand people who were dating each other just because they were looking good together, without real feelings behind it. He couldn't help but not feeling concerned at all when they were breaking up and the girl was (faking?) crying around. Probably he had an old vision of the whole thing but whatever. For now he was happy and, as long it was during, he couldn't ask for more.

The pleasure Yukiteru had everyday, it was when he was meeting Akise between classes and they were kissing secretly. At these moments, his heart was pounding in a oh so deafening way in his chest by the fear of being seen. Yukiteru wouldn't really have minded that people knew. However, he wouldn't like at all that Akise, the popular guy, would be bullied because of him. Of course some people wouldn't care but other would probably make fun of him and this, Yukiteru couldn't afford it. He hadn't told Akise yet about it so this latter was probably thinking he was not used to it for the moment. In fact, he had already figured it out, but hadn't said a thing about it. Actually, he was really glad to know that Yukiteru cared at him in such a way.

How many times did he reckon about the possibility his love for Yukiteru could weaken? He wondered; but he noticed that it was just unstoppably growing again and again. Before he started dating Yukiteru, looking at him was just fine. And then he learned about Yukiteru's possible feelings towards Wakaba. And then looking was not enough: he started to become jealous. He wanted Yukiteru only for him; he wanted him to look at him as he did. But the brunette would have probably never understood his feelings he had, moreover he was a boy. That's why he had never felt so surprised (and what a pleasant surprise!) when he learned that his feelings were not one-sided. Hugging and kissing Yukiteru became such drugs Akise wanted more. He knew it was kind of poison but he couldn't stop. Now, every time their kisses went in a more passionate way, he couldn't help but starting to kiss Yukiteru's neck, ears, collarbone. He was always stopping before going any further but it was strangely provoking at this moment an almost unbearable pain.

The truth was that Yukiteru was totally aware of Akise's position as he was feeling the same way. Nevertheless, even though he got more self-confident thanks to their relationship, he still felt unsecure and scared by the thought of disappointing Akise in this domain he has never experienced before. Yukiteru had even bought those books girls were crazy about… yaoi aren't they? Thinking about Akise and him… doing this kind of thing… He wondered if he felt aroused or scared. Most likely both.

"N-no! Akise-kun! Don't-Don't touch me here!"

Yukiteru blushed and hid his head in his pillow, throwing away the manga. What was he thinking about! If Akise went in his room and found out he had this kind of hobby, what would he take him for? Some kind of pervert, hiding gross things under his bed?

Yukiteru sighed and turned in his sheets, falling slowly asleep, his dreams getting pretty interesting.

The next morning, while Yukiteru was tying up his shoes, he received a message on his phone. His heart started to beat forcibly as he discovered it was Akise. It could have been Kousaka for example, who would have proposed to hang out but no, it was Akise.

_From: Aru Akise, 7:42 AM._

_To: Yukiteru Amano._

_Subject: Hi (´‿｀__)_

_Hi Yukiteru! _

_Would you like to eat with me on the roof? I want to spend some time with you. Don't forget your lunch!_

The last sentence presaged that Akise didn't really let him the choice. But whatever, Yukiteru was quite happy over the proposal. He quickly replied positively and waited impatiently all the morning for the lunch break to come.

The bell rang. Yukiteru was already on the roof, sitting, waiting for Akise. Even if it has been now four months they started dating, he was still feeling a bit nervous about it. The weather was nice and wind softly brushed his face.

He closed his eyes and got back to reality when he felt two hands against his cheeks, pulling back his head to feel a soft kiss on his lips. Akise made an amused giggle to Yukiteru's blush and sat next to him.

"I-I'm glad you've asked me out to eat there. What is more, it's so pleasant by this time!" stated Yukiteru.

"Isn't it? But it doesn't have to be sunny to feel pleasant." and, leaning closer to Yukiteru "as you're here with me."

"Really? However you've come quite late." said the brunette in a pout.

Akise laughed, "I just had some problem with some girl…"

Yukiteru rolled his eyes, "A confession, again?" Inside, he felt a sore pain embracing his chest.

"Kind of…" then, taking Yukiteru's hand "Impossible, are you getting jealous?"

"Of-of course not!"

This situation made Yukiteru remember about one of these horrendous mangas he had read earlier and Akise, looking at Yukiteru's flushing increasing, thought that, decidedly, it wasn't possible down there to be that cute. The white-haired boy leaned closer and languidly kissed the brunette, tongues tangling with passion, moaning as the contact went more ardent. Akise firmly took Yukiteru's hips to draw him closer; however, this latter, out of breath, pushed the other to recover.

"Don't surprise me like that!"

"I'm sorry" replied Akise, half-laughing "These times I want to be closer to you."

Yukiteru turned away his face from Akise, perfectly understanding what he meant. Arms behind him encircled his waist and he felt Akise's chin upon his head.

"Can I?"

"Y-yes… Akise-kun… I want to be closer to you as well. I'm fed up of always making you hold back. It's just…" the brunette calmed down, feeling Akise's soft ruffle through his hair "I don't want to disappoint you."

Akise did not answer first and Yukiteru was afraid that he might have said some awkward thing. He all of sudden felt Akise squeezing him and slightly kissing him the back of his ear.

"You'll never do."

"E-eh? but?"

The white-haired boy squeezed him more and Yukiteru understood he wouldn't say anything else.

In fact, Akise was so desperately glad that he couldn't tell a word. So Yukiteru was actually thinking about him before himself. He was scared to lose him… just as Akise.

He smiled internally and slowly started to kiss the brunette's ear, making him shiver.

"We won't have time to eat, in the end" Yukiteru laughed.

The other chuckled and in response, made his tongue more curious, licking at Yukiteru's sensible places at his ear and neck.

"Mmmh…" puffed Yukiteru.

Akise's hands started to reach the other's chest when people going out the cafeteria alerted them that classes were about to start.  
Both felt terribly annoyed but _"Anyways we won't make it at school, to top it all on the roof, right?"_ thought Yukiteru.

He turned back and kissed Akise before going, waving his hand.

"See you!"

Yukiteru's mind was full of Akise. Indeed, since he told him he wanted them to become closer, he couldn't help but think about a multitude of possible scenarios in his mind.

Many times in the day, teachers told him to stop daydreaming and his classmates took the most of the opportunity to make fun of him:

"Eh, he's thinking about his girlfriend!" "Eeeeh? Gross!" "What are you talking about? He obviously does not have one!"

_Shut up. If you knew I'm dating the most popular guy of the school! Wait… They would make fun of me even more. _

He sighed.

_Definitely, can't they just leave me alone?_

"Hey shut up boys!" loudly shot Hinata "Do you think that with your ugly faces you'll even get a girlfriend someday?"

And then started a long and virulent argument that ended by a detention for the whole class.

"T-thank you, Hinata, for defending me" shyly thanked Yukiteru.

"No probs!"

Last class this day was sport. Obviously, Yukiteru was not very skilled at it, even more in basketball. However, as Akise was here as well, he tried his best and wasn't actually the worst of all. He didn't know how to make a basket but whatever, he wasn't so bad at making passes and, since he was quite short in height, he could easily thread his way among players. Nonetheless, while he was with great difficultly passing through his opponents, one of them suddenly took him by the shoulder, looking pissed off, and threw him on the ground, stealing him the ball. Nobody said anything although the gesture was brutal: the player was a thug reputed very violent. Probably Akise would have done something but he wasn't here, bringing back balls from the storeroom with his team, and Yukiteru was quite glad about it because he couldn't felt more ashamed right now. Flattened on the floor, hardly breathing, Yukiteru couldn't get his wind back at all and he started to panic. Teachers finally decided to move and the poor boy was transported to the sick room, where, of course, the nurse was missing even though she should have been there.

Yukiteru took off his shirt and passed a hand on his chest: it was almost burning. He turned in the sheets and wondered if he was getting a fever. Fortunately, the wet towel on his forehead was agreeably cooling him down.

Yukiteru laid the back of his hand on his face; he couldn't fall asleep or even recover and he wondered how this stupid guy could have beaten him so strongly and so easily. Yukiteru was so weak! So lame.

He closed his eyes, letting his mind have a walk. He heard Akise's voice calling him. It was cool, soft, appeasing. He liked Akise's voice. It was always sounding happy or playful. It was always giving him a smile.

The voice became louder, more insistent and persistent in its way, letting him in the incapacity of sleeping, totally awakening him. He opened his eyes, a bit upset. He saw Akise and any trace of irritation vanished.

"A-akise-kun?" exclaimed Yukiteru, surprised it was not his mind that went crazy after all.

"Were you asleep by any chance? You looked so cute." teased Akise with however a soft gaze.

Yukiteru answered something inaudible, burying in the bed.

"I hope this bastard hasn't made you much troubles" said Akise with an angry tone in the voice, then soothing it "I borrowed towels in the case you need some."

"Oh, you save me Akise!" shout Yukiteru with a thankful look, wonder-struck.

He sat on the edge of the bed, without noticing Akise's apparent blush at him shirtless, and was about to grab the towels in the bucket when the hand of the white-haired boy stopped his.

"Wouldn't you prefer me to do it?" Yukiteru felt Akise's envy in his voice and noticed by the same occasion his eyes on his chest.

"Oh my… I…" he babbled and blushed.

_I want to be closer to you as well. I'm fed up of always making you hold back._

It's right. Yukiteru had prepared himself, right? And… maybe it wouldn't go any further.

Mainly, above all, he could feel it, the desperate envy of Akise!

"W-well…" stumbling over his own words "I-If you w-… I-I'm okay with that."

Akise smiled at the answer and slightly kissed Yukiteru, bringing the towel to Yukiteru's chest. Water fell down upon the body, dropping a bit everywhere. In a way, it was terribly appeasing for Yukiteru's pain but, on the other hand, it felt very awkward as well.

Akise went back up along Yukiteru's chest and accidently rubbed his nipple, dragging a light moan out of the brunette when the other was still kissing him. This latter looked up at him, wondering why he had done such a noise.

"Yukiteru-kun? Have I hurt you?"

"N-no, it's!..." Yukiteru blushed and turned away his face from Akise.

What did he want right now? It actually did felt good… Even… really good.

Akise repeated the action, making Yukiteru moaning even more conspicuously. This time he understood and smiled, passing a finger along his beloved's chest. Yukiteru shook.

"Do you like it, Yukiteru-kun… when I touch you?"

Yukiteru let out a gasp of pleasure when Akise slipped his fingertip to his hardening nipple, rubbing it softly, leaving aside the towel. He leaned closer to Yukiteru's neck and started to suck it to increase the pleasure.

"I-it feels weird but…"

"But?"

"It feels really nice too…"

"Ah…"

These words of Yukiteru made Akise unexpectedly happy. He went back up to Yukiteru's mouth, kissing him furiously, rubbing even more the brunette's chest, this latter groaning in such a lovely way it was melting Akise's heart.

"I love you…" he whispered "I love you so much, you can't imagine."

"I love you too, Akise-kun…"

Yukiteru tightened Akise against him as if he wanted to show him his feelings.

"Umh…" murmured the white-haired boy, brushing Yukiteru's lips with one finger. The brunette knew he was thinking about something and it did presage nothing good.

Akise leaned forward, lowering down his face to the brunette's chest and started to lick Yukiteru's left nipple in a sensual way. On the spur of the pleasure, Yukiteru grabbed firmly Akise's shoulders and moaned so loudly they had never been so happy they were alone in the room. Yukiteru bowed as well, panting against the other's hair, gripping to him, squeezing him the closest as possible against his chest.

With embarrassment, Yukiteru noticed that he was getting seriously hard, so much it was actually painful against his pants. He didn't want Akise to stop right away anymore; he wanted him to go further. However, a contradicted feeling inside him was telling to stop to behave with such lust.

Akise was also feeling his length hardening as he was getting more and more aroused by Yukiteru's undying moans. He was quite worried: was it feeling good for him?

With his hand that was holding Yukiteru's waist, Akise started softly to caress the inside of the brunette's leg, going up to the sensible place. When he arrived, Yukiteru felt with a mix of pleasure and dread Akise's fingers pressing than rubbing in between his legs. The sensation was so rough that Yukiteru sat up straight, looking with anxiety in Akise's eyes.

"Akise-kun… I-I'm… a bit scared."

The white-haired boy smiled as he left Yukiteru's chest, swooping down on his lips. The kisses made Yukiteru's apprehension slowly disappear, giving himself to Akise when this latter leaned him back upon him on the bed. He continued his kisses along Yukiteru's jaw and slowly unzipped the brunette's pants, making him shiver sharply.

"It's alright…" Akise whispered in a reassuring tone "You don't have to do anything…"

Yukiteru caught on Akise as he felt fingers ventured on his underwear.

"Oh my" the brunette gasped, wanting to hide himself somewhere very deep in the underground.

He felt totally ashamed at Akise touching him, making him moan and above all hardening his intimacy just under his fingers. Those ones then went up, playing with the edge of the underwear and swiftly went in.

Yukiteru trembled violently as an incredible wave of pleasure seized him when the cold fingers of Akise circled and moved along his length.

"Aah-ah!" groaned Yukiteru at the tireless coming and going movements.

"D-does it feel good, Yukiteru-kun?" asked Akise's trembling voice "Tell me…"

"Y-yes… p-please… don't stop!" implored the brunette.

The movements became rougher and so did Yukiteru's pleasure, increasing at each move. Yukiteru was caught in dark shadows that wouldn't let him go, he knew it was bad but god it felt so good! His moans went louder and Yukiteru tried to formulate:

"A-akis-e… ah!... s-stop… I'm…"

Akise giggled and kissed him more passionately again, not letting go of Yukiteru. This latter shook a last time and, couldn't retaining himself anymore, came in the other's hand.

The orgasm made Yukiteru's mind go empty and, closing his eyes, he tried to catch his breath and gather his wits. When he eventually regained consciousness, the first vision he had was his dear Akise licking with a kind of adoration his come. Yukiteru froze and abruptly sat up, stopping Akise in his action:

"W-what are you doing! P-pervert!"

Akise made an adorable pout "Oh, that's harsh. But you taste so go-ah!" he stopped as Yukiteru slapped him on the top of his head with the pillow.

The brunette looked for a second at Akise's amused face and, as if his body was moving on itself, he tenderly kissed the other. The white-haired boy startled a bit of surprise and, hugging tightly Yukiteru against him, put back the brunette against the bed. Akise felt the brunette's hands approaching his back, he expected him going up to his neck but, instead, they sharply took his shoulders and knocked him down, Yukiteru now topping the other. Before he could say anything, Yukiteru shot, embarrassed:

"Akise-kun, I… I'd like to make you feel good as you did for me but…" he looked away, not able to support the intense gaze anymore "I'm probably not good at all for this…"

Akise sighed, "I told you that if you are not ready you don't have to, right? I won't be angry at you for this…"

Akise was cut short by Yukiteru pressing his hand in between his legs, revealing his hardness. It was so unexpected that Akise couldn't retain a small gasp.

"But… you're so hard Akise…"

The white-haired boy looked aside because of Yukiteru's embarrassing words, feeling a blush coming to his cheeks. The brunette leaned down and kissed him with passion then stated, determined:

"O-ok… I'll do my best."

Akise closed his eyes, waiting impatiently as his excitement kept increasing. He heard Yukiteru unzipping his trousers.

"Yukiteru-kun…"

At this state, the brunette didn't really know what to do. Probably just using his hand as Akise did for him wouldn't be enough. Was it time to use those stupid perverted mangas?

He unbuttoned the shirt and kissed it all along. He continued until the underpants where he licked. Akise violently shook and sat up:

"Y-Yukiteru-kun! What are you doing?"

"Does it not feel good?" He asked, worried.

"It's… it's not a question whether it feels good or not! You… you know what you're doing, right?"

"Y-yes… I want to do this to you…"

"Are… are you sure?"

Yukiteru's eyes answered better than words. Akise sighed and brought up a hand to his face. He felt then again this pleasure as Yukiteru licked again, his whole body twitching. Even through the underwear, the pleasure was so considerable he couldn't stop himself moaning. Soon he felt way too tight in his pants and almost implored:

"Yukiteru-k… please get it off…"

The brunette looked up at him and, based on Akise's expression, it seemed he was doing well for now which reassured him.

Yukiteru slowly removed the underwear and revealed Akise's sex. He felt a bit ashamed as he compared sizes. But for now, he had to make his beloved Akise feel as good as him a bit sooner.

Akise couldn't wait, panting heavily, his pupils dilating of excitement.

Yukiteru started to suck the top of Akise's length with a bit of clumsiness then licked each side, teasing the white-haired boy. Akise moaned more distinctly Yukiteru's name. He finally took the sex in his mouth and started to suck on it.

"G-god Yu-Yukiteru-kun! I-it feels... aah!"

Yukiteru continued his movements and the pleasure provoked was so huge that Akise wondered how many time he could still retain himself. His hands gripped locks of Yukiteru's hair and his toes sank in the mattress.

"S-stop now… Yukiteru-kun, I'm about to…"

Speechless by the pleasure, Akise didn't finish his sentence. Yukiteru continued on, maybe even faster than before, the tongue moving tirelessly.

"No… not-not in your mouth." begged one last time Akise.

His voice was so imploring Yukiteru eventually stopped himself. However the fact was that Akise hadn't come yet was unbearable for Yukiteru.

"Thank you." formulated a still panting Akise.

"But…"

"I know" he smiled mischievously "come here."

Yukiteru leaned closer to Akise, putting himself on him. The white-haired boy lightly took his lover's pants and threw it away in an almost theatrical gesture. Yukiteru blushed when Akise found out he was still hard. The white-haired boy just smiled.

Akise seized Yukiteru's butt, approaching the brunette even closer to him and rubbed his length against the other when they touched. Akise returned back over Yukiteru and, encircling with his slender fingers both sexes, speeded up the movements.

"Aaah! Akise-kun… hmm! More!"

"D-don't moan so loudly… mm- Ah! If someone hears us…" but actually, Akise couldn't retain himself groaning as well.

Yukiteru bit Akise's shoulder to muffle his voice as he came, followed by Akise.

Both panting heavily, their mouths touched and gathered in a violent ballet of tongues. Their kisses last what seemed forever and, when they finally parted, they hugged closely despite their sticky bodies.

"Maybe I should pick up our clothes" sighed Akise in a tired tone.

"Stay here…" begged Yukiteru.

"I come back."

Akise got dressed again first and was about to get Yukiteru's clothes when the door opened. It was one girl of Akise's class who had come to know what took so long.

She stood still for a moment, open-mouth, analysing the situation.

"You-you" she blushed and was about to run away when Akise caught her by the arm.

"It stays between us, yes?" and he used his charming smile, very effective on girls.

"I want to die" stated Yukiteru in a toneless voice, the face buried in the pillow.

"Don't say that, Yukiteru-kun. She probably won't say anything."

"Probably?" he almost screamed, turning his face to Akise.

Akise took the opportunity for encircling his arms around Yukiteru, squeezing him tightly against him.

"It's easy to do this every time" protested the brunette.

"But it's quite useful, doesn't it?" laughed Akise.

"Akise-kun?"

"Hum?"

"I love you."

The white-haired boy looked surprised for some seconds and hugged Yukiteru a bit more – if it was possible. "I love you too. You are my only love."

Yukiteru sighed in joy.

"And next time" continued Akise "I'll do what you did to me…" brushing a finger over Yukiteru's lips "with your mouth…"

"A-akise-kun!" blushed the brunette while the other chuckled.

* * *

**(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻**


End file.
